Monday, January 25, 2010

Kindle Care Gone Awry

Two weeks ago Tuesday was my Bunco night. I made dinner for Mom and Sam. Just before leaving, I set Mom up with the Kindle to continue listening to Beverly Lewis' The Shunning, a story set in the Amish region of Lancaster County.

When I returned home two hours later, I went to her room to turn off the device. Mom was listening, but had a strange expression on her face and said, "That was NOT my book--but I listened to it anyway. It was like one of those "True Story" magazines." I don't think Mom's ever read a True Story magazine. But she knew someone who did. Or maybe she knew somebody who knew somebody who did. Anyway...

Then I remembered. After Mom had listened the previous night, I was browsing through some of the books I had downloaded. There were a few free "romance" novels so I put them in the mix. I must say I enjoy reading the occasional trashy novel on occasion. However, a few pages in (OK, so maybe it was more than a few--but as God is my witness, less than 50), I realized that this great work of literature was closer to female erotica than romance novel.

When you turn the Kindle back on, it will automatically pick up where you left off. I didn't pay any attention to what was on the screen when I set it up for Mom. She doesn't know how to start or stop it--I guess it was basically a hostage situation.

Except for the fact that she could have simply taken off the headphones.

She didn't.

Sam was sitting in the living room and I told him what had happened. I also read him this brief passage from the book,
His whiskey tone promised incredible delights, seducing her word by word. "I can indulge in the feeling of you wrapped around me. Not moving, just savoring." 

I understand if you feel the need to go take a shower right now--I inadvertently let my 91-year-old mother listen to porn  a  sexually explicit romance novel for 2 hours.

Special place in hell, here I come--right next to the author of Slow Hands.


  1. Nina that is so funny about your mom listening to the romance novel LOL, That is totally something my grandmother would have done, she would have just kept listening to it and probably would have asked if she could finish reading the story. Reminds me of when my friends were putting on a bridal shower for me in Canada, and I wanted to go get a few ideas so my grandma said " How about we go to the Love Shop" I about fell over :) then me and gram went to the Love Shop, it was a blast, great memories! :)

  2. Hi Nina! How neat to "see" you on blogger:) I love to write, so this is a good fit for me.

    How hilarious about your mom, I once had a conversation with Grandma Trellis about lesbians and she remarked, "I just want to know how they do it". I about fell over in my chair!


  3. Oh Nina, this made my day! So funny - not just what happened but the way you told the story. I'm still laughing and will remember your little snafu all day, probably forever, and it will always make me smile. Thanks for sharing.