How Sweet It Is

To get a text message from Mark that reads:
In the area of "not for general publication" Mom had a small bowel movement accompanied by a couple of toots.


The last 24 hours have shown great improvement in her pain level, nausea and a overall demeanor. They removed the NG tube, and she had not had any pain meds all day. Again, a great sign.

The nurses told us shortly after her surgery that there have been some significant celebrations involving the event of passing gas. I can see why. It's a big deal to know that things are starting to function normally. However, we kept the partying to a minimum and instead read the market commentary on the Linder Farm network and discussed  the news.

Then I clicked on a link to Tina and Lena jokes on the site--and we had a few laughs. Maybe they'll make you laugh too:

A guy goes to the Doctor, and the Doctor tells him he only has a day to live. He goes home to tell his wife and she asks him what he wants to do with his final hours. “Let’s go upstairs and fool around all night long.”

“Well…” his wife replied, “that might be alright for you…you don’t have to get up in the morning.”

The town cop was parked outside a bar at midnight, watching for drunk drivers. He saw a man stumbling out the door, trip over the curb, searching the lot for his car, struggle to get the door opened and finally fall asleep on the front seat.  One by one the drivers of the other cars drive off, and finally the guy wakes up, starts his car and pulls out of the parking lot.  The cop pulls him over and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The results show 0.0 blood-alcohol level, and the cop is puzzled. He asks, “How can that be?” The guy says, “Well, tonight was my turn to be the designated decoy.”

Lena was competing in the Sons of Norway swim meet. She came in l-a-s-t in the hundred-yard breast stroke, and she approached the judges, “Oh, say, I don’t vant to complain, but I tink those other ladies vere using dere arms.”

How many Germans does it take to grease a combine?

Vell, only two…but you gotta run ‘em through r-e-a-l-l-y SLOW!